Once Upon A Time In Carrotland My YouTube Autobiography Which I Definitely Wrote All Of

(Ariana95) #1



Getting into SOAS was a dream come true for me, just when I had lost
all hope of getting in, mainly due to Legumasaurus Rex’s attempts to
tank my confidence. I had never been to London even though it was
only three hours away from Caterham by horse, and there were
excellent train links from Caterham Valley with a buffet service at
weekends. I had heard so many interesting stories about London while
growing up, and I longed to see the dreaming spires of La Sagrada
Familia, bathe in the warm waters of the mediterranean as it lapped the
shores of la Platja del Somorrostro, and browse the shops and tapas
bars of Las Ramblas. Unfortunately all of these things were hundreds
of miles away in Barcelona, so they would have to wait. Muncho was
in awe at the sight of London, despite the thick smog, and I knew Rex
was amazed too even though he tried to hide it.
“Look, London is nice and all, but you should have stayed in
China. I prefer China!” Rex had said.

While I was in China, Rex had wanted me to get back to England
and now that I was in London, he wanted me to go back to China.
Rex was one confused bag of lentils.
“Oh, shut your cake-hole, Rex! London is beautiful. Josh, it’s so
beautiful!” Muncho chirped in delight, like a delighted chick.

“I told you,” I said. “I heard so many stories about London while
growing up, some of which weren’t about Spain, and it feels great to
finally be here!” I said, beaming.
“Yay! Yay! London!” Muncho yelled in excitement. “Can we go to
the Plaza de Cataluña?”

“Sure, but first we must unpack.”

My hall of residence, Dinwiddy Towers, looked exactly as it had in the
brochure, except for the moving staircases and the ghosts, which
were a surprise. My room was at the top of the tallest tower, and to

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