204 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONSThe Danger Point
Most people are far more likely to talk about the presence of a
bad behavior than the absence of a good one. When someone
really messes up, leaders and parents alike are compelled to take
action. However, when people simply fail to be excellent, it's
hard to know what to say.The Solution
Establish new and higher expectations. Don't deal with a specific
instance; deal with the overall pattern. If you want someone to
show more initiative, tell him or her. Give specific examples of
when the person ran into a barrier and then backed off after a
single try. Raise the bar and then make it crystal clear what
you've done. Jointly brainstorm what the person could have done
to be both more persistent and more creative in coming up with
a solution.
For instance, "I asked you to finish up a task that absolutely
had to be completed before I returned from a trip. You ran into
a problem, tried to get in touch with me, and then simply left a
message with my four-year-old. What could you have done to
track me down on the road?" or "What would it have taken to
create a backup strategy?"
Pay attention to ways you are compensating for someone's
lack of initiative. Have you made yourself responsible for fol
lowing up? If so, talk with that person about assuming this
responsibility. Have you asked more than one person to take the
same assignment so you can be sure it will get done? If so, talk
to the person originally assigned about reporting progress to you
early so you only need to put someone else on the job when
there's a clear need for more resources.
Stop acting out your expectations that others won't take initia
tive. Instead, talk your expectations out and come to agreements