MASTERING CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS 23The Pool of Shared Meaning
is the birthplace of synergy.
Not only does a shared pool help individuals make better
choices, but since the meaning is shared, people willingly act on
whatever decisions they make. As people sit through an open
discussion where ideas are shared, they take part in the free flow
of meaning. Eventually they understand why the shared solution
is the best solution, and they're committed to act. For example,
Kevin and the other VPs didn't buy into their final choice simply
because they were involved; they bought in because they under
stood.
Conversely, when people aren't involved, when they sit back
quietly during touchy conversations, they're rarely committed to
the final decision. Since their ideas remain in their heads and
their opinions never make it into the pool, they end up quietly
criticizing and passively resisting. Worse still, when others force
their ideas into the pool, people have a harder time accepting the
information. They may say they're on board, but then walk away
and follow through halfheartedly. To quote Samuel Butler, "He
that complies against his will is of his own opinion still."
The time you spend up front establishing a shared pool of
meaning is more than paid for by faster, more committed action
later on.
For example, if Kevin and the other leaders had not been
committed to their relocation decision, terrible consequences
would have followed. Some people would have agreed to move;
others would have dragged their feet. Some would have held
heated discussions in the hallways. Others would have said noth
ing and then quietly fought the plan. More likely than not, the
team would have been forced to meet again, discuss again, and
decide again-since only one person favored the decision and the
decision affected everyone.