52 CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS
- Masking consists of understating or selectively showing our
true opinions. Sarcasm, sugarcoating, and couching are some
of the more popular forms.
"J think your idea is, uh, brilliant. Yeah, that's it. J just worry
that others won't catch the subtle nuances. Some ideas come
before their time, so expect some, uh, minor resistance. "
Meaning: Your idea is insane, and people will fight it with their
last breath.
"Oh yeah, that'll work like a charm. Offer people a discount,
and they'll drive all the way across town just to save six cents
on a box of soap. Where do you come up with this stuff?"
Meaning: What a dumb idea. - Avoiding involves steering completely away from senSItIve
subjects. We talk, but without addressing the real issues.
"How does your new suit look? Well, you know that blue's my
fa vorite color. "
Meaning: What happened? Did you buy your clothes at the
circus?
"Speaking of ideas fo r cost cutting-did you see Friends last
night? Joey inherited a bunch of money and was buying stu
pid stuff. It was a hoot. "
Meaning: Let's not talk about how to cut costs. It always leads
to a fight. - Withdrawing means pulling out of a conversation altogether.
We either exit the conversation or exit the room.
"Excuse me. I've got to take this call. "
Meaning: I'd rather gnaw off my own arm than spend one
more minute in this useless meeting.