CHAPTER EIGHTEENJoseph Fouche seems to have been the one man the Emperor genuinely
feared, and with reason. The J. Edgar Hoover of his day, the atrocious
chief of police had files on everyone, and at a moment's notice could send
a legion of Bonaparte skeletons rattling out of the cupboard. Napoleon
therefore ducked the task of tackling him head on and went for the softer
option, Talleyrand. On 28 January 1809 he summoned his lame
chamberlain, kept him standing for three hours, and tore into him with
rare fe rocity; the burden of his invective was that Talleyrand was an
ingrate and money-lover who, in return for the wealth of Croesus
lavished on him by the Emperor, had repaid him with bad advice- the
d'Enghien fiasco was mentioned- and treachery. Doubtless remembering
Mirabeau's famous quip about Talleyrand - 'the Abbe of Perigord would
sell his soul for money; and he would be right, for he would be
exchanging dung for gold' - Napoleon cast at him a famous insult: 'You
are nothing but shit in silk stockings.'
Talleyrand made no reply but a bow, then, when the three-hour tirade
finally blew itself out, went straight to the Austrian embassy and sold his
services again for one million francs to the new ambassador, Clemens
Metternich. This inflation-proofed equivalent of thirty pieces of silver
seems on the generous side, for Talleyrand was sacked as Grand
Chamberlain next day and was thus cast out of the inner circles. Besides,
all that Talleyrand could tell him Metternich knew already. There was
discontent in France in elite circles? Well, certainly, why else was
Talleyrand in the Austrian embassy?
The Austrians had already taken this factor into account when making
their decision for a war of revenge. Four principal considerations
encouraged them to think that this time they could beat Napoleon. In the
first place the French would be reluctant to engage with them, for they
were already fully stretched in Spain and their crack units were in the
Peninsula. Secondly, Czar Alexander had hinted strongly that, Erfurt or
no Erfurt, he would not back Napoleon; when the French suggested a
joint remonstrance to Austria, backed by the threat of a Russian