hadn’t said anything about his being close to death in front of him. Sonja
and I had feared he was at the brink, had known it after we learned his
appendix had been leaking poison into his system for five days. But we’d
been very careful not to say anything in front of Colton that would scare him.
My throat closed, the first sign of tears. Some people freak out when
their teenagers want to talk about sex. If you think that’s tough, try talking to
your preschooler about dying. Colton had been with me in nursing homes,
places where people gave their loved ones permission to let go of life. I
wasn’t about to give my son permission to quit. We weren’t out of the
woods yet, and I didn’t want him to think that death was an option.
I willed my voice to remain steady and smiled at my son. “You just think
about getting better, okay, buddy?”
“Okay, Daddy.”
“We’re here with you all the way. We’re praying for you.” I changed the
subject. “Now, what can we bring you? Do you want your action figures
from home?”
We hadn’t been in the room long when three members of our church
board arrived at the hospital. We were so grateful for that. Sometimes I
wonder, what do people do when they have no extended family and no
church? In times of crisis, where does their support come from? Cassie
stayed with Norma and Bryan in Imperial until my mother, Kay, could drive
up from Ulysses, Kansas. Bryan’s extended family lives in North Platte, and
they came to help us too. Our church gathering around us in the eye of the
storm would change the way Sonja and I approached pastoral visitation in
times of trial and grief. We were faithful about it before; now we’re militant.
Soon, Sonja came back into the room and not long after that, Dr.
O’Holleran joined us. Colton lay quietly as the surgeon pulled back the
sheet to show us the incision site, a horizontal line across the right side of
his tiny belly. The wound was packed with blood-tinged gauze, and as he
began to remove it, Colton whimpered a bit in fear. I don’t think he could
feel it yet, since he was still under the effects of the local anesthesia the
surgical team had applied to the incision site.
Colton’s insides were so contaminated with the poison of the ruptured
appendix that Dr. O’Holleran had decided it was best to leave his incision
open so it could continue to drain.