THE GOLDEN RULE 955In an ecstasy of melody the last words rang out, then there was
silence. The judge looked into the faces of the men before him. There
was not one who was not touched by the song, not one in whom
some better impulse was not stirred. He did not call the cases singly,
but with a kind word of advice he dismissed them all. No man was
fined or sentenced to the workhouse that morning. The song had
done more good than punishment could possibly have accomplished.
You have read the stories of a Golden Rule lawyer and a Golden
Rule judge. In these two commonplace incidents of everyday life you
have observed how the Golden Rule works when applied.
A passive attitude toward the Golden Rule will bring no results. It
is not enough merely to believe in the philosophy while at the same
time failing to apply it in your relationships with others. If you want
results you must actively apply the Golden Rule.
It will not avail you anything to proclaim to the world your belief
in the Golden Rule while your actions are not in harmony with your
proclamation and you use it to cover a greedy or selfish nature. Even
the most ignorant person will see you for what you are.
COMMENTARY
In their book Be Loved for Who You Really Are, husband-and-wife psychology
team Judith Sherven, Ph.D. and Jim Sniechowski, Ph.D. offer an interesting
variation on the traditional Golden Rule. They point out that in some cir-
cumstances doing for someone what you would like them to do for you
can have exactly the opposite effect to what is intended.
The example they give in their own book is of a couple, each of whom
has very different expectations of how they would like to be treated when
they're il/. She expects to be cared for and catered to; he prefers to be
left alone. So when she fussed over him and he ignored her, she was hurt
and he was irritated. Yet each felt they were fol/owing the Golden Rule