itself to collect its scattered thoughts and apply itself to the greater
good, which is the good of the Whole. Mind is necessary to fabricate
the grammar, syntax, and vocabulary with which we establish relations
with other forms of life. Even the highest form of intelligence should
not forget to be grateful to its feeling, gathering mind, for it needs,
above all, to borrow the words and grammar afforded by mind in
order to express itself outwardly.
At this level of practice, where total attention is almost within our
grasp and total penetration is becoming a real possibility, there is some
thing of a parting of the ways concerning what is called Free Will. Free
Will for most people implies being able, for good or ill, to do what we
want and not do what we don't. Our yoga practice up till now will
have enhanced these potentials. Growing health, vigor, brightness, and
self-control will have enabled us to take on more and different activi
ties than before, change the quality of our relationships, and of course,
put the ice cream back in the freezer. All this comes into most people's
idea of self-realization, and it is a pleasant and essential aspect of living
one's life. But now another side to Free Will is beginning to declare it
self, and you might call that "The Will to be Free." In spite of its at
tractive sound, it is, to the average person, a daunting prospect,
implying as it does, penetration into the heart of the unknown, de
tachment, and the potential pain of ultimate self-knowledge. This re
quires real guts, and so we should take a moment to look at the source
of our will.
In 1944, I struggled terribly with my practice. It was dry, lifeless,
and artificial. I was acting from the will of my head, my ego, and not
from my heart, my intelligence. The simple fact is that the will of the
ego is finite, because our ego is finite. It is a personal attribute, limited
to us. It is just the sum of all our past experiences and acquisitions.
Coming from the head, it will always feel forced. Coming from a finite
origin, it will always eventually run out.
The will that springs from the intelligence of the heart is, hy con-
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