One Indian Girl by Chetan Bhagat

away. I can’t hold your hand here, can I? Even though you do like to spoon me at night, isn’t it?’
Neel looked around. The closest customers were three tables away.
‘You want to talk, we can talk. About anything. I had no idea you had so much bottled up.’
‘How could you? You have it easy. Partner at office. Husband and father at home. Young chick
when you want her. What do you have to worry about?’
‘This.’
‘What?’
‘That you are not okay about it. When I thought you were.’
‘What made you think I am okay?’
‘I don’t know. When we make love, or when we work together, or when we chat, isn’t it out of
this world?’
‘Life isn’t lived “out of this world”, Neel. Life is lived in this world.’
To be fair, even I didn’t know why I felt so anxious. Perhaps my mother’s one-year ticking-
clock deadline had triggered a panic attack.
‘You know the problem, Neel. I can’t even discuss us with anyone. Other girls discuss their
boyfriends with their friends. I can’t, right?’
I had to stop talking. I excused myself to go to the washroom. I returned after washing my face.
Neel looked at me with concern.
‘Sorry,’ I said. Why am I saying sorry to him?
‘You don’t have to be sorry. It’s your feelings. Thank you for sharing them. I am sorry for not
sensing them earlier.’
My plate of vegetable dumplings had gone cold. One of the waiters replaced it. Neel and I ate
in silence.
‘I love you,’ Neel said.
I shrugged.
‘So?’ I said. ‘Kind of irrelevant, isn’t it?’
‘What do you want, Radhika?’ Neel said.
I kept silent.
‘A future? I am twenty years older,’ he said.
‘You said age doesn’t matter in love. Didn’t you?’
‘I am married. I have kids. So much baggage.’
‘Exactly. So what am I doing with you?’
‘Aren’t you happy with just what we have?’ Neel said. He seemed to be genuinely confused.
‘Would you be? If you were in my place?’ I asked, looking him squarely in the eye.
‘We have our work. We have love. We have excitement. We have friendship. We don’t have
the predictability and monotony of a married couple.’
‘You make marriage sound so bad. You are married. The whole world gets married.’
‘Clarify this for me. Do you want to get married? Or are you feeling stressed only because
your mother wants you to get married soon?’
‘Eventually I do want to, Neel. How could you think I won’t? I want marriage, kids, family.’
‘Really?’
‘What do you mean, really? I do. I want Sunday IKEA trips with my husband and a whole
bunch of kids. I want to wipe my kids’ messy faces when I feed them. I want to bake cookies for them.
Yes, yes I do.’
‘Really, Radhika?’ Neel said. He looked at me gobsmacked, as if I had revealed my secret