desire to join the ISIS.
‘Yeah. Why?’
‘I thought you were career-minded.’
‘Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?’ I said, my voice ice-cold.
‘Nothing. Let’s talk later. I’ll ask for the bill,’ Neel said and signalled the waiter.
‘No, Neel. Not tonight,’ I said.
We were lying tangled up in my bed. He nuzzled the side of my neck. It signalled that he
wanted sex. I shrugged my shoulder, dislodging his lips.
‘Radhika, come here,’ he murmured my name in a persuasive voice.
‘No, Neel,’ I said. ‘I am tired.’
He had come to my apartment four nights in a row this week. I don’t know what story he made
up at home. Frankly, I didn’t care. Every night I let him in. We watched TV for a while and we went
to bed.
He rebuttoned the shirt of his nightsuit.
‘This is the fourth time you have rejected me,’ he said. He was right. We hadn’t had sex all
week.
‘Stop assuming. I am not rejecting anything. I am tired,’ I said.
‘Is it your mother?’ he said.
I shook my head.
‘Is it me?’ he said.
I shook my head.
‘It’s me,’ I said.
‘What?’
‘How could I let myself get into this?’ I said.
‘We love each other, Radhika. Stop making it sound so bad.’
I switched on the night lamp next to me and turned on my side to face him. I lifted myself up to
rest on my elbow.
‘Really, Neel?’ I said.
‘What?’ Neel said.
‘I allowed myself to get involved with a married man. Not just a one-night stand. A long and
full-blown affair. Hell, I allowed myself to fall in love with you. When there is no future.’
‘I have no plans to leave you.’
‘But do you have any plans to change anything?’
‘Why do we have to change? What we have is perfect.’
‘What if Kusum finds out?’
‘She won’t.’
‘What if she does?’
‘Don’t be paranoid. You are being over-anxious these days. Is it that time of the month?’
He tried to put his arms around me.
‘Shut up, Neel,’ I said, extracting myself from his grip. ‘Don’t trivialize it.’