shut the door.
I went into our living room, adjusted the thermostat and sat on the couch. I opened my laptop
again and read the performance review form.
List instances where you added significant value in a deal.
I had worked on three deals this last year; MegaBowl was the deal I had contributed to the
most. I entered the details. Last year, when I joined the firm fresh out of college, we had had a fixed
bonus. My performance review would decide my bonus this year.
I reached the last question.
What is your overall assessment of your performance on a scale of 1–5, based on the
classification below:
1: Significantly below expectations
2: Below expectations
3: Meets expectations
4: Better than expectations
5: Significantly better than expectations
I pondered on my overall rating for a few minutes. Choosing a ‘5’ felt pompous. I settled for a
‘3’ and pressed ‘submit’.
‘Done?’ I heard Debu’s voice from the bedroom.
‘Yeah, coming,’ I said.
I tiptoed across to Partner Jon Cruz’s cabin; his secretary asked me to wait as Jon ended a call. Bonus
day in Goldman altered the air in the office. Inside, people felt huge anxiety and excitement. Outside,
they had to pretend to be cool, like it was any other day. Of course, it was anything but that. Bonus is
what bankers work for, and the ‘number’ defines whether you are good or not. A zero bonus or a
ridiculously low number could even mean a signal to leave the firm.
Jon Cruz would communicate the bonuses to everyone in the New York distressed debt team. I
had a base salary of 120,000 dollars a year. I felt a 30,000 number would be good, translating to three
months’ salary. Anything higher, say a thirty-five or forty, would make it a rainbow in my sky.
‘How you doing?’ Jon said, staring at his screen. He always tried to relax the person before he
shared the number. He had the magic spreadsheet with all the bonus data open on his computer.
‘I am good. How are you feeling?’ I said.
‘A bit like Santa Claus today.’
I smiled. But only a little. In a partner’s office one always had to be poised.
‘Your first real bonus, right?’ he said.
I nodded.
‘How do you think you have done?’ he said.
‘I guess I will find out,’ I said.
He laughed. ‘Well, people like you around here. The worst rating in all your reviews came
from you. You gave yourself a three; almost everyone else gave you a five.’
I was speechless. Joy hopped through me like a rabbit as I realized people had noticed my
twelve months of slog.