The Last Black Unicorn

(Ann) #1
Everybody   in  unison  was like,   “Yeah.”

Tiffany:    “Oh,    shit!   Nobody  told    me  this    shit!”

ͳat got a big laugh. I was so uncomfortable. I didn’t
know what to do, so I just did what I always do when I’m
uncomfortable: I made shit WAY WORSE.
I started talking about dick even more, and then I just
kept talking about dick. I was going on about all the dicks,
and then some woman blurts out:


Lesbian:    “I  got a   drawer  full    of  dicks   for you,    and you
can pick any one you want, baby!”

That    got the best    laugh   yet from    the crowd.

Tiffany:     “Okay,  no.     I   was     talking     about   one     that    is
actually attached to a man. I love men. Let me tell you
about men and they dicks!”

I just went into this whole thing about how awesome
men are, and how much I love men, which was pretty
ironic, considering that the best man I had ever been with
in my life lived in a group home for the handicapped.
If I had been a more experienced comedian, I would have
talked about that and made a ton of jokes about that, and
the crowd would have loved it. But I wasn’t there yet. I was
just being antagonizing and awkward.


Lesbian:    “We don’t   want    no  dick    lovers  here!”
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