The Last Black Unicorn

(Ann) #1
Ex-Husband: “Yeah,  I   know.   I   got your    phone   number
from a dude I know who works at Sprint. I’m police,
that’s easy.”

After he told me everything he did to mnd me, I asked
him:


Tiffany:     “If     you     could   mnd     me,     maybe   you     could   mnd
my dad?”

Ex-Husband: “Oh,    I’ll    mnd your    daddy   for you,    but it’s
going to cost you.”

Tiffany:     “I’ll   pay     you     whatever    you     want.   Whatever
you want, I’ll pay you.”

In my mind, I’m thinking I’ll give him a couple hundred
dollars, maybe a couple of dates or something. ͳat’s it.
Then he’s like:


Ex-Husband: “Well,  I   want    you to  marry   me.”

I   just    start   busting up  laughing,   but he  was serious.

Ex-Husband:  “Tiĉany,    I’m     telling     you,    I   want    you     to
marry me. I’ve been watching this video I found, you
know, when we was on the boat. Every time I’m sad, I
watch you. You make me happy. I don’t even really
know you, but you’ve made me happy over the years.
When I’ve had arguments with my girlfriends, I put in
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