The Last Black Unicorn

(Ann) #1
the house   and tell    him don’t   touch   nothing until   I   get
back from work.”

ͳat was not good advice. So how do I do this? I just
really wanted to be a great wife.
Really, I wanted to be a better wife than my mom was.
I wanted to be supportive, not a pushover. But actually
take care of the kids, actually take care of people. If I say I’m
going to do something, to do it, to have it done. Just better
than how she was to me. I wanted to clean the house. Make
sure my man don’t have no roaches in his house. My mom
had roaches in the house. We would never have a roach
issue, thank you very much.
So I recommitted. And things got worse at home. He set
down new rules for me.


Ex-Husband: “You’re not allowed to  get text    messages
or phone calls after ten o’clock, because that’s
disrespecting our marriage. I don’t care if your
grandma can’t call you after 10 p.m., I don’t care if
somebody died, that’s disrespecting our marriage.”

I went along with that. I made everybody talk to me
between nine and mve o’clock. Business hours. I legit told
that to people.
Even though I’m a comedian, and sometimes clubs would
be like, “Hey, can you come and do this spot?” I didn’t
answer the phone. I didn’t talk to them. I told them, “I can’t
do it. I can’t do it. If you don’t call me during business

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