The Last Black Unicorn

(Ann) #1

madder. I was two glasses of wine in already, so I was ready
to mght these ladies. I sent a text message to Hollywood
Friends 1 and 2 like:
“ͷese old bitches at this wedding being racist as hell. I’m
about to kick they asses. I’m sorry if I don’t see you all for a
while because I’m about to be in jail.”
Hollywood Friend 1 called me immediately. Now mind
you, I’m still sitting in the stall:


Hollywood    Friend  1:  “Tiĉany,    just    leave.  Just    get     an
Uber right now and just walk out the door.”

Tiffany:    “I  can’t   do  it, I   got to  fight   these   bitches.”

Hollywood   Friend  1:  “I’m    not getting off the phone   with
you until you walk out the door. Just leave. Leave.
Leave.”

I opened the stall door, still on the phone with
Hollywood Friend 1, and these two bitches gave me a look
of shock and horror. They had no idea I was there.


Tiffany:     “Okay,  I   will    leave   these   fat-ass,    Paula   Deen–
looking bitches to themselves, and get the hell out of
this wedding.”

I thought those women were going to straight die, right
there in the bathroom.
I walked out, got my man, and we left. I was still
steaming when we got back to the hotel. We had some good

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