The Last Black Unicorn

(Ann) #1

I comprehended very well. I knew what they was talking
about. I was just quiet, because I didn’t want to get popped.
Because there was popping at the school back then, in the
hood in South Central. ͳem teachers would slap the shit
out your ass.
Before high school, I didn’t talk much. When I did talk, I
was on the playground. I would want to play with the boys,
because if somebody picked on me while I was playing
basketball, the other dudes would be like, “Man, leave her
alone. She’s with us.” They would protect me.
ͳat’s what I wanted. Someone to protect me.
Something to be part of.
Eventually, I realized the only thing I could really be a
part of was drama or being the mascot or working the Bar
Mitzvahs. That’s the only way I could feel included.
What did they all have in common?
Entertainment. Performing. Being something that other
people wanted me to be. ͳose were the only things I’d be
included in.
Not to be Tiĉany. To be outside of myself. Because
myself wasn’t necessarily . . . I felt like I wasn’t good enough.
Just being me wasn’t good enough. Not for my parents, not
for school, not for anything.
I got into the entertainment business so I could feel
accepted. And loved. And safe.
When I go onstage to do comedy, it’s about me. I feel
accepted for who I am. I can go onstage with my hair fucked
up, no makeup, ugly-ass clothes I’ve been wearing for three

Free download pdf