The Last Black Unicorn

(Ann) #1
Tiffany:    “Ah,    just    putting some    tissue  in  my  shirt.”

Foster  Grandpa:    “Why    you doing   that?”

Tiffany:    “ ’Cause    all my  friends,    they    got big boobs   and
I want to be like my friends.”

Foster  Grandpa:    “Well   I   can help    you make    your    titties
grow.”

Tiffany:    “You    can?”

Foster  Grandpa:    “Yeah,  just    let me  suck    on  them    every
day. If you let me suck on them, they’ll grow.”

So, I started letting this old-ass man suck on my titties
every day when I was thirteen.
He never tried to touch my cootchie or nothing. He just
would suck on my titties for mfteen minutes before I left for
school. Then I’d go to school.
When I was nineteen, I was hanging out with one of my
girlfriends, and she was like:


Friend: “Yeah,  I’m going   to  get a   boob    job.”

Tiffany:     “I  don’t   know.   I   probably    should  get     a   boob
job too, maybe.”

Friend:  “Or     maybe   we  get     somebody    to  suck    on  our
titties every day until they grow.”
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