Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win

was up to me to make sure you know the parameters we have to work
within and why some decisions have got to be run through me. Now, I
need to fix this so it doesn’t happen again.’”
“Do you think that will work?” asked Gary, sounding unconvinced.
“I’m confident it will,” I replied. “If you approached it as he did
something wrong, and he needs to fix something, and he is at fault, it
becomes a clash of egos and you two will be at odds. That’s human
nature. But, if you put your own ego in check, meaning you take the
blame, that will allow him to actually see the problem without his vision
clouded by ego. Then you both can make sure that your team’s standard
operating procedures—when to communicate, what is and isn’t within
his decision-making authority—are clearly understood.”
“I wouldn’t have thought to take that tact,” Gary admitted.
“It’s counterintuitive,” I said. “It’s natural for anyone in a leadership
position to blame subordinate leaders and direct reports when something
goes wrong. Our egos don’t like to take blame. But it’s on us as leaders
to see where we failed to communicate effectively and help our troops
clearly understand what their roles and responsibilities are and how their
actions impact the bigger strategic picture.
“Remember, it’s not about you,” I continued. “It’s not about the
drilling superintendent. It’s about the mission and how best to
accomplish it. With that attitude exemplified in you and your key
leaders, your team will dominate.”