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under guardians and managers and becomes responsible for him
or herself. Christians move into another parental relationship
with God as Father. God does not leave us as orphans, but takes
us into his family.
Numerous New Testament passages teach that we need to
forsake our allegiance to our original family and become
adopted by God (Matt. 23:9). God commands us to look to him
as our father and to have no parental intermediaries. Adults who
are still holding an allegiance to earthly parents have not real-
ized their new adoptive status.
Many times we are not obeying the Word of God because
we have not spiritually left home. We feel we still need to please
our parents and their traditional ways of doing things rather than
obey our new Father (Matt. 15:1–6).
When we become part of God’s family, obeying his ways will
sometimes cause conflict in our families and sometimes separate
us (Matt. 10:35–37). Jesus says that our spiritual ties are the
closest and most important (Matt. 12:46–50). Our true family is
the family of God.
In this family, which is to be our strongest tie, things are
done a certain way. We are to tell the truth, set limits, take and
require responsibility, confront each other, forgive each other,
and so on. Strong standards and values make this family run.
And God will not allow it any other way in his family.
This in no way means that we are to cut other ties. We are to
have friends outside of God’s family and strong ties with our fam-
ily of origin. However, we need to ask two questions: Do these
ties keep us from doing the right thing in any situation? and Have
we really become an adult in relation to our family of origin?
If our ties are truly loving, we will be separate and free and give
out of love and a “purposeful” heart. We will stay away from resent-
ment, we will love with limits, and we will not enable evil behavior.
If we are not “under guardians and managers” as adults, we
can make truly adult decisions, having control over our own will
(1 Cor. 7:37), subject to our true Father.
Boundaries