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Take in and Receive the Good
It is not enough to understand your need. You must get it
met. God is willing to meet your needs through his people, but
you must humble yourself, reach out to a good support system,
and take in the good. Do not continue to hide your talent in the
ground and expect to get better. Learn to respond to and receive
love, even if you’re clumsy at first.
Practice Boundary Skills
Your boundary skills are fragile and new. You can’t take
them immediately into a difficult situation. Practice them in sit-
uations where they will be honored and respected. Begin saying
no to people in your supportive group who will love and respect
your boundaries.
When you are recovering from a physical injury, you do not
pick up the heaviest weight first. You build up to the heavy stuff.
Look at it as you would physical therapy.
Say No to the Bad
In addition to practicing new skills in safe situations, avoid
hurtful situations. When you are in the beginning stages of
recovery, you need to avoid people who have abused and con-
trolled you in the past.
When you think you are ready to reestablish a relationship with
someone who has been abusive and controlling in the past, bring
a friend or supporter along. Be aware of your pull toward hurtful
situations and relationships. The injury you are recovering from is
serious, and you can’t reestablish a relationship until you have the
proper tools. Be careful to not get sucked into a controlling situa-
tion again because your wish for reconciliation is so strong.
Forgive the Aggressor
Nothing clarifies boundaries more than forgiveness. To for-
give someone means to let him off the hook, or to cancel a debt
he owes you. When you refuse to forgive someone, you still want
Boundaries