1358. Boundaries and Your Friends
M
arsha switched on the television, not even noticing which
show was on. She was thinking about her phone call with
her best friend, Tammy. She had asked Tammy to go to a movie
with her. Tammy had had other plans for the evening. Once
again, Marsha had taken the initiative. Once again, she was dis-
appointed. Tammy never called her. Was this what friendship
was supposed to be about?
Friendship. The word conjures up images of intimacy, fond-
ness, and a mutual drawing together of two people. Friends are
symbols of how meaningful our lives have been. The saddest
people on earth are those who end their days with no relation-
ships in which they are truly known and truly loved.
Friendship can be a broad category; most of the relation-
ships mentioned in this book have friendship components. But
for our purposes, let’s define friendship as a nonromantic rela-
tionship that is attachment-based rather than function-based. In
other words, let’s exclude relationships based on a common task,
like work or ministry. Let’s look at friendship as comprising
people we want to be around just for their own sake.
Boundary conflicts with friends come in all sizes and shapes.
To understand the various issues, let’s look at a few conflicts and
how they can be resolved with boundaries.Conflict #1: Compliant/Compliant
In some ways it was a great friendship; in other ways, it was
awful. Sean and Tim enjoyed the same sports, activities, and