16510. Boundaries and Your Children
S
hannon couldn’t stop crying. A young mother of two
preschool children, she couldn’t imagine herself being angry,
out of control, and certainly not abusive. Yet a week ago, she had
picked up three-year-old Robby and shaken him. Hard. She had
screamed at him. Loudly. And it wasn’t the first time. She had
done it numerous times in the past year. The only difference
was that this time, Shannon almost physically injured her son.
She was frightened.
The experience had so shaken Shannon and her husband,
Gerald, that they called and made an appointment with me to
discuss what had happened. Her shame and guilt were intense.
She avoided eye contact with me as she told her story.
The several hours before Shannon had lost control with
Robby had been horrible. Gerald and she had had an argument
over breakfast. He had left for work without saying good-bye.
Then one-year-old Tanya spilled cereal all over the floor. And
Robby chose that morning to do everything he’d been told not
to for the past three years. He pulled the cat’s tail. He figured
out how to open the front door, and he ran outside into the yard
and into the street. He smeared Shannon’s lipstick all over the
white dining room wall, and he pushed Tanya to the floor.
This last incident was the straw that broke Shannon’s back.
Seeing Tanya lying on the floor, crying, with Robby standing over
her with a defiantly pleased look, was too much. Shannon saw red
and impulsively ran to her son. You know the rest of the story.