195to find a way that you can. You owe no one an explanation about
why you will not do something that is not your responsibility.
Many overresponsible people who work next to under-
responsible people bear the consequences for their co-workers.
Always covering for them, or bailing them out, they are not
enjoying their work or their relationships with these people.
Their lack of boundaries is hurting them, as well as keeping the
other person from growing. If you are one of these people, you
need to learn to set boundaries.
Sometimes, however, a co-worker will genuinely need some
extra help. It is perfectly legitimate to bail out a responsible co-
worker, or to make special concessions to a colleague who uses
those concessions responsibly to get well. This is love, and good
companies operate lovingly.
In our work as psychologists at the same hospital, we often
cover hospital duty for each other or take each other’s “on call”
time. But if one of us started taking advantage of the other, we
would need to stop that. Covering for the other at that point
would not be helpful, but would enable a bad pattern.
Favors and sacrifices are part of the Christian life. Enabling
is not. Learn to tell the difference by seeing if your giving is
helping the other to become better or worse. The Bible requires
responsible action out of the one who is given to. If you do not
see it after a season, set limits (Luke 13:9).
Problem #2: Working Too Much Overtime
When I first went into practice, I hired a woman for twenty
hours a week to run my office. On her second day in the office,
I gave her a pile of things to do. About ten minutes later, she
knocked at my door, stack of papers in hand.
“What can I do for you, Laurie?” I asked.
“You have a problem,” she told me.
“I do? What is it?” I asked, not having the vaguest idea what
she was talking about.
“You hired me for twenty hours a week, and you have just
given me about forty hours of work. Which twenty would you
like done?”
Boundaries and Work