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Remind yourself of what God has done and who he is. If you
have been a Christian for a long time, look back into your life
and remember how he has intervened, the situations from
which he has delivered you, the ways that he has come through
for you. Listen to others. Remember the grace he has shown us
in his Son. He did not do that for nothing; he did it for our
redemption and future.
If he has let you down or it seems that he has never done
anything for you, allow him to start now. Many times God
allowed terrible things for a long time before delivering his
people. We do not know God’s timing, but if you have started in
recovery now, he is moving in your life. The time of your deliv-
erance is near. Hang on and let God do for you what he has
done for so many. “So do not throw away your confidence; it will
be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you
have done the will of God, you will receive what he has
promised” (Heb. 10:35–36).
Unforgiveness
“To err is human, to forgive is divine.” And to not forgive is
the most stupid thing we can do.
Forgiveness is very hard. It means letting go of something
that someone “owes” you. Forgiveness is freedom from the past;
it is freedom from the abusive person who hurt you.
The Bible compares forgiving people to releasing them from
a legal debt. When a debt is incurred, when people trespass on
your personal property, real “owing” occurs. You have on the
“books” of your soul an accounting of who owes you what. Your
mother controlled you and owes you to make it right. Your father
dominated you and owes you to make it right. If you are “under
the law,” you are motivated to collect these debts from them.
Attempts at collection may take many forms. You may try to
please them to help them pay you back. You think that if you do
a little something more, they will pay their bill and give you the
love they owe. Or you may think that if you confront them
enough, they will see their wrong and make it right. Or you may
feel that if you convince enough people of how bad you’ve had
Boundaries