286full attention. You could come in and watch if you’d like, or I
could call you tomorrow and plan a time for us to get together.”
Sherrie’s mother hadn’t reacted well. The martyr syndrome
had kicked in full force: “It’s just as I’ve always known, Dear.
Who’d want to spend time with a lonely old lady? Well, I’ll just
go home and be by myself. Like every other night.”
At one time Sherrie would have folded under such a mas-
terful onslaught of the “guilties.” But Sherrie had, after lots of
practice with her support group, decided how to handle her
mom’s unexpected visits. And she didn’t feel so guilty anymore.
Mom would be fine the next morning—and Sherrie would have
had a good evening.6:45 A.M.
Sherrie slipped into her new dress. It fit perfectly—two sizes
smaller than she had worn a few months ago. Thanks, God for
my new self-boundaries, she prayed. Her diet and exercise pro-
gram had finally worked, not because she learned any new
secrets about food and working out, but because she saw taking
care of herself not as selfishness, but stewardship. She’d stopped
feeling guilty about taking the time away from other things to
work on her body. Getting in shape made her a better wife,
mom, and friend. And she liked herself better.
7:15 A.M.
Amy and Todd were finished with breakfast and were taking
their plates to the sink to rinse them and place them into the dish-
washer. Sharing household tasks had become a comfortable habit
for all members of the family. Sure, the kids and Walt had resisted,
but then Sherrie stopped preparing breakfast until she got help
with cleaning up. A miracle had happened with the kids and Walt.
A light had gone on inside, saying, “If I don’t work, I don’t eat.”
Even more satisfying was watching the kids get to their
school rides on time, with a couple of minutes to spare. Beds
made. Homework done. Lunches packed. Incredible.
Boundaries