293Here was a wife who confronted his emotional distance with,
“You’re my first choice for intimacy. I love you, and want to make
you first in my heart. But if you won’t spend time being close, I’ll
spend that time in support groups, at church, and with the kids.
But I won’t be in the den, watching you watching TV anymore.
You’ll have to microwave your own popcorn from now on.”
He’d threatened. He’d sulked. He’d withdrawn.
But Sherrie stuck to her guns. With help from God, her
friends, her therapist, and her church support group, she’d with-
stood Walt’s blusterings. He began to experience what it was like
not to have her around and underfoot all the time.
And he missed her.
For the first time, Walt actually experienced his dependency
on Sherrie. How much he needed her. How much fun she was
when she was around. He began to slowly, gradually, fall in love
with his wife again—this time a wife with boundaries.
She changed, too. Sherrie stopped playing the victim with
Walt. She found herself blaming him less. She was less resent-
ful. Her boundaries helped her develop a full life that didn’t
need Walt to be as perfect as she’d wished.
No, it wasn’t an ideal marriage. But it felt more solid now,
like an anchor in the storms. They were more like a team, with
mutual love and mutual responsibility. They were not afraid of
conflict, they forgave each other’s mistakes, and respected each
other’s boundaries.
10:15 P.M.
Lying in bed, snuggled next to Walt, Sherrie reflected over
the past months of boundary work. She felt warm and grateful
for the second chance God had given her.
A passage of Scripture came to her mind, one which she had
read many times and knew well. It was the words of Christ from
the Sermon on the Mount:
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of
heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will beA Day in a Life with Boundaries