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- I will.
- I like that.
- I don’t like that.
Your words, or lack of them, define you to another person.
Remember Stephanie, the wife in the opening illustration of this
chapter who was pulling away from her husband, Steve?
Stephanie slowly lost ground on her property by not saying what
she wanted and what she did and did not like about how Steve
was acting. Her silence was like a trampled-down fence.
Truth
Truth is another important boundary. God’s truth and princi-
ples provide the boundaries of our existence, and as we live
within this truth, we are safe. Here are some truths that help
define the structure of how we are to relate:
- Do not lie.
- Do not commit adultery.
- Do not covet.
- Give to others.
- Love one another.
- Be compassionate.
- Forgive.
As we structure our relationships around God’s eternal truths,
our relationships succeed and thrive. When we cross these
boundaries, we lose the security that truth provides.
In addition, being honest and truthful about ourselves and
what is going on in a relationship provides boundaries. Not
being truthful to one another gives a false impression of where
we are, as well as who we are. For example, when Regina was
adapting to Lee’s hurtful behavior, she wasn’t being honest with
him about what was really going on inside of her. She was act-
ing happy and loving, but in reality she was miserable inside and
hurting deeply.
Boundaries in Marriage