I practice yoga every single day, but my practice changes just like the
seasons. During the peak of my most dynamic year thus far, when I was
practicing like crazy and sweating and working so hard on the mat, I
decided to start an Instagram account. I already had a Facebook page as a
yoga teacher for my students to keep up with classes and changes, and I
loved spreading inspiration and motivation for yoga online.
I was happy with my life in Aruba, classes were going well, and social
media just seemed like a fun way to reach and connect with new people. I
didn’t have a plan for my Instagram account at all. I started posting little
bits of my life—yoga on the beach, food that I ate, handstands, travels—
and my following slowly grew. When I had two or three thousand
followers, people started asking me for advice on yoga and yoga poses and
I gladly replied.
A few months later Dennis and I hit a rough patch. is was a
combination of different factors: He was very busy setting up his new skate
shop, I was teaching a million classes a week, and we didn’t have as much
time together as we’d had before. At the same time some personal issues
came up in my family, and instead of sharing that with Dennis and letting
my problems bring us closer, I started to distance myself from him. What
followed was the most challenging period of our relationship. We had
never ever fought before, but all of a sudden we were fighting about little
things all the time. I started spending more time going out with my
girlfriends and acting a little bit crazy, and Dennis withdrew to his shop
and stayed home with the dogs.
One day I was home, contemplating the difficult time we had found
ourselves in, and to distract myself I reached for my phone to share a
photo on Instagram of me doing a handstand. Normally I would caption
the photos I shared with some information about the pose or just mention
what a lovely day I was having. But at this very moment I wasn’t having a
lovely day. I was going through a shitty time. I don’t know what came over
me, but I started writing about my feelings—about the love and the pain
and the struggles. And then I shared it with the world.