It’s been a long journey to get to where I am today. I wasn’t a naturally
balanced person growing up, and I was lucky to find yoga at the young age
of seventeen. I took my first yoga class in ailand, while I was on
vacation with my family. e class was led by a small ai man, and I
remember being struck by how calm and peaceful he was. We were on
bamboo mats in the shade and he led us through different poses while
instructing us to inhale and exhale. I’d never experienced anything like it,
and even though the class didn’t change my life or my view of the world, I
left feeling invigorated and happy. I was not a happy teenager, and I was
still about two years away from taking my first steps toward making yoga a
substantial part of my life.
When I was little, my family moved a lot. My parents split up when I
was only two years old, and as often happens with couples who separate,
there was a lot of drama. During this period my brother and I moved back
and forth between my parents. Eventually my mom met and fell in love
with a man who was a fighter pilot for the Swedish army, and for a year or
two we led very quiet lives. My brother and I went to day care, we lived in
just one place, and my grandmother was with us a lot. We would all go
skiing every chance we got and spent lots of time in the mountains. One
of my clearest memories is watching my stepdad hack out a little cave in
the snow, using his ski to dig us a cozy place out of the side of the slope
where we sat and drank hot chocolate. Also, sitting on his shoulders
singing along to the live band at the lodge after skiing. e song was
“What’s Up?” by 4 Non Blondes; and every time I hear that song I think
of him and our lives at that time. ese were some of the happiest days of
my childhood.
Of course, good things sometimes come to an end. Just a day after my
mom and stepdad signed the contract for our new house, his plane crashed
into the ocean and our lives changed drastically. I was only five years old.
His death was a defining moment in my life. My mother lost the love
of her life, my little brother and I lost our stepdad, and again our lives were
turned upside down, but on a level we had never experienced before. e