6. SIDESTEP THE SPIRAL
There’s also the ever-popular Spiral Into
Darkness where you begin by being sad
that your dog died then realize that not
only are you now dogless, but you’re
still single and you will always be
single because everyone, including your
dog, leaves you, which probably
wouldn’t be the case if you didn’t have
such fat thighs or weren’t so
overshadowed by your gorgeous sister
who is pretty much the main reason
you’ve had no self-confidence your
entire life and wah wah wah.
Feel sad, but don’t blow it up into
some huge drama. If something negative