S

June    24th

THE TRULY   EDUCATED    AREN’T  QUARRELSOME

“The    beautiful   and good    person  neither fights  with    anyone  nor,    as  much    as  they    are able,   permits

others  to  fight   .   .   .   this    is  the meaning of  getting an  education—learning  what    is  your    own affair

and what    is  not.    If  a   person  carries themselves  so, where   is  there   any room    for fighting?”

—EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 4.5.1;   7 b–8a

ocrates famously traveled around Athens, approaching the people he disagreed with most, and
engaging them in long discussions. In these discussions—or what record we have of them—there are
many examples of his conversation mates getting exasperated, upset, or aggravated by his many questions.
Indeed, the people of Athens eventually got so upset, they sentenced Socrates to death.
But Socrates never seemed to get upset himself. Even when talking about matters of life and death, he
always kept his cool. He was much more interested in hearing what the other person had to say than
making sure he was heard or—as most of us insist upon—winning the argument.
The next time you face a political dispute or a personal disagreement, ask yourself: Is there any
reason to fight about this? Is arguing going to help solve anything? Would an educated or wise person
really be as quarrelsome as you might initially be inclined to be? Or would they take a breath, relax, and
resist the temptation for conflict? Just think of what you could accomplish—and how much better you
would feel—if you could conquer the need to fight and win every tiny little thing.