J

March   9th

FIND    THE RIGHT   SCENE

“Above  all,    keep    a   close   watch   on  this—that   you are never   so  tied    to  your    former  acquaintances

and friends that    you are pulled  down    to  their   level.  If  you don’t,  you’ll  be  ruined. .   .   .   You must

choose  whether to  be  loved   by  these   friends and remain  the same    person, or  to  become  a   better

person  at  the cost    of  those   friends .   .   .   if  you try to  have    it  both    ways    you will    neither make

progress    nor keep    what    you once    had.”

—EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 4.2.1;  4–5

“From   good    people  you’ll  learn   good,   but if  you mingle  with    the bad you’ll  destroy such    soul    as

you had.”

—MUSONIUS   RUFUS,  QUOTING THEOGNIS    OF  MEGARA, LECTURES,   11.53.21–22

im Rohn’s widely quoted line is: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time
with.” James Altucher advises young writers and entrepreneurs to find their “scene”—a group of peers
who push them to be better. Your father might have given you a warning when he saw you spending time
with some bad kids: “Remember, you become like your friends.” One of Goethe’s maxims captures it
better: “Tell me with whom you consort and I will tell you who you are.”
Consciously consider whom you allow into your life—not like some snobby elitist but like someone
who is trying to cultivate the best life possible. Ask yourself about the people you meet and spend time
with: Are they making me better? Do they encourage me to push forward and hold me accountable? Or
do they drag me down to their level? Now, with this in mind, ask the most important question: Should I
spend more or less time with these folks?
The second part of Goethe’s quote tells us the stakes of this choice: “If I know how you spend your
time,” he said, “then I know what might become of you.”