INTRODUCTION

thataredesignedtostrengthenorprotecttheegoortogetits
needs met will then become redundant. Giving space to
others — and to yourself— is vital. Love cannot flourish
without it.When youhave removed the twofactors thatare
destructive of relationships: When the pain-body has been
transmuted and you are nolonger identified with mind and
mentalpositions,andifyourpartner hasdonethesame,you
will experience the bliss of the flowering of relationship.
Instead of mirroring to each other your pain and your
unconsciousness,insteadofsatisfyingyour mutualaddictive
ego needs, you will reflect back to each other the love that
youfeeldeepwithin,thelovethatcomeswiththerealization
of youronenesswithallthat is. This is the lovethat hasno
opposite.
If your partner is still identifiedwiththe mindand the
pain-body while you are already free, this will represent a
major challenge — not toyou but to your partner. It is not
easytolivewithanenlightenedperson,orratheritissoeasy
that the ego finds it extremely threatening. Remember that
the ego needs problems, conflict, and "enemies" to
strengthen the sense of separateness on which its identity
depends. The unenlightened partner's mind will be deeply
frustrated because its fixed positionsarenot resisted, which
means they will become shaky andweak, and there is even
the "danger" that they may collapse altogether, resulting in
loss of self. The pain-body is demanding feedback and not
getting it. Theneedfor argument,drama,andconflictisnot
beingmet.Butbeware: Some peoplewho areunresponsive,
withdrawn, insensitive, or cut off from their feelings may
thinkandtrytoconvinceothersthattheyareenlightened,or
at least that there is "nothing wrong" with them and
everything wrong with their partner. Men tend to do that
more than women. They may see their female partners as
irrational or emotional. But if you can feel your emotions,
youarenot farfrom the radiant inner bodyjust underneath.
Ifyouaremainlyinyourhead,thedistanceismuchgreater,
andyouneedtobringconsciousnessintotheemotionalbody