all benefit from the effort. But he was setting them up in competition with each other. One
manager's success meant failure for the other managers
As with many, many problems between people in business, family, and other relationships, the
problem in this company was the result of a flawed paradigm. The president was trying to get the
fruits of cooperation from a paradigm of competition. And when it didn't work, he wanted a
technique, a program, a quick-fix antidote to make his people cooperate.
But you can't change the fruit without changing the root. Working on the attitudes and behaviors
would have been hacking at the leaves. So we focused instead on producing personal and
organizational excellence in an entirely different way by developing information and reward systems
which reinforced the value of cooperation.
Whether you are the president of a company or the janitor, the moment you step from independence
into interdependence in any capacity, you step into a leadership role. You are in a position of
influencing other people. And the habit of effective interpersonal leadership is Think Win-Win.
Six Paradigms of Human Interaction
Win-win is not a technique; it's a total philosophy of human interaction. In fact, it is one of six
paradigms of interaction. The alternative paradigms are win-lose, lose-win, lose-lose, win, and
Win-Win or No Deal TM
Win-Win
Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions.
Win-win means that agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial, mutually satisfying. With a
win-win solution, all parties feel good about the decision and feel committed to the action plan.
Win-win sees life as a cooperative, not a competitive arena. Most people tend to think in terms of
dichotomies: strong or weak, hardball or softball, win or lose. But that kind of thinking if
fundamentally flawed. It's based on power and position rather than on principle. Win-win is based
on the paradigm that there is plenty for everybody, that one person's success is not achieved at the
expense or exclusion of the success of others.
Win-win is a belief in the Third Alternative. It's not your way or my way; it's a better way, a higher
way.
Win-Lose
One alternative to win-win is win-lose, the paradigm of the race to Bermuda. It says "If I win, you
lose.
In leadership style, win-lose is the authoritarian approach: "I get my way; you don't get yours."
Win-lose people are prone to use position, power, credentials, possessions, or personality to get their
way.
Most people have been deeply scripted in the win-lose mentality since birth. First and most
important of the powerful forces at work is the family. When one child is compared with another --
when patience, understanding or love is given or withdrawn on the basis of such comparisons -- people
are into win-lose thinking. Whenever love is given on a conditional basis, when someone has to earn
love, what's being communicated to them is that they are not intrinsically valuable or lovable. Value
does not lie inside them, it lies outside. It's in comparison with somebody else or against some
expectation.