Trust That You’re Being Useful
When you start shifting your behaviour from giving advice and
providing solutions to asking questions, you will feel anxious. “I’m
just asking questions. They’re going to see right through this any
minute now.”
Learn to recognize the moment when you ask the question and
there’s a pause, a heartbeat of silence when you can see the person
actually thinking and figuring out the answer. You can almost see
new neural connections being made.
To further reassure yourself, master the last of the Seven
Essential Questions—“What was most useful here for you?”—so
you create a learning moment for the person and for you.
Remember That There Is a Place for Your Advice
When someone pops his head around the door and asks, “Do you
know where the folder is?” tell him where the folder is. Don’t ask,
“What’s the real challenge here for you?” That’s just annoying.
(Although the upside might be that people stop interrupting you,
so don’t dismiss this tactic out of hand.) One of your roles as a
manager and a leader is to have answers. We’re just trying to slow
down the rush to this role as your default behaviour.
Remember the Second Question
Someone once said that everything tastes better with bacon. As a
fallen vegetarian, I can attest to that. Equally, every question gets
better when you add, “And what else?”