mindset: caring what other people think makes you vulnerable to peer pressure and
to vanity. Sometimes, to do what must be done, you must be willing to sacrifice your
reputation.
Just as in our example about admitting that you broke the vase...
Expect the Worst
Stoics argue that we curse when we’re
angry and that this anger is our own
failing – our own stupidity.
Think about the last time you swore with
anger. Chances are that it was not
because it rained or because you found
you were in debt. More likely, it was
because you dropped something on your toe, or because you broke your favorite
possession.
The point is that the anger comes from the surprise , not the disappointment. You
don’t swear when it rains because you know that rain is a possibility.
Therefore, if you are angry, this then suggests that you didn’t expect whatever
happened to you and this is arguably your own fault. If you accept that bad things
happen and if you accept that sometimes things won’t go to plan, then you will have
no need to be angry – because you will have accounted for it and prepared mentally
for it.
Now, when your partner cheats on you, or when a service provider doesn’t deliver a
good service, you will think of it as being simply a part of life – just like the rain.
Control Your Reaction