starstruck in the presence of Victoria Beckham, who was a
guest judge that day. Later she told a reporter this was
something the producers told her to say. Victoria offered to
turn around in hopes that it would make the contestant feel
more at ease. Stephanie accepted the offer, which felt forced
and a little too theatrical for me.
The young grad student started again, a little more
awkwardly, this time singing “Baby Love” by The
Supremes. It wasn’t any better. After a measure or two,
Victoria turned back around. This time Kara added to the
critical jabs, saying it was better when she was looking.
Another burst of laughter erupted from the judges.
“With the greatest respect,” Simon said in a proper
British accent, pausing for dramatic effect, “you have a
horrible voice.”
“Really?” Stephanie said, looking stunned but still
smiling nervously. All the preparation, all those long years
of dreaming, had led to this?
“Yeah,” Randy chimed sympathetically. “You ain’t got
it goin’ on.”
“You can’t give me a few minutes to get un-nervous?”
she pleaded.
“We’d need years, Stephanie,” Simon said, and the
judges again all laughed in unison.^2
And as I watched from the anonymity of my home office
years after the fact, I realized how much truth there was in
that statement.