Or is there a deeper question we ought to be asking? We all
know someone whose passion exceeds their skill and who,
for no lack of trying, can’t seem to break through. What
advice do we offer such people? Can we honestly stare them
in the face and say, “Try harder”? Something about that
seems wrong.
Didn’t Stephanie try? It sure seems that way. And it’d be
hard to argue with her effort: she didn’t quit after seven
rejections. But maybe the problem wasn’t the amount of
practice she was doing. Maybe it was the kind of practice.
The Effort Excuse
Our parents told us to try. “It doesn’t matter how well you
do,” my dad used to tell me while looking at my report card,
“just that you did your best.”
I went through much of life explaining a lack of
excellence with that very excuse: I gave it my best. This
became my default shrug-it-off response whenever facing
failure. “At least I tried.” What more could anyone ask?
I used the Effort Excuse whenever encountering a
challenge that exceeded my abilities, like playing the
saxophone, for instance. I halfheartedly attempted to play
the woodwind instrument for six months before finally
quitting in frustration. It was just too difficult, or maybe I
just wasn’t that interested. What I was doing felt like trying,