Runners

060 RUNNERSWORLD.CO.UK JULY 2018In practice, I began consciously experimentingwith my thoughts and their effect on the workout.My hamstrings tended to fatigue, which annoyedme. It took me a moment to become aware of theirritation, but when I did, I asked myself how elseI could view it. I’m gaining strength where I needit. Good, I thought, and ran on, emboldened bythe idea of getting stronger.Every Thursday we had repeats. When I lostcontact with the men I was training with, Inoticed my mind drew a quick conclusion: ‘I’llnever be able to hang on.’ This surprised meIt wasn’t just workouts that improved. The positive shifts built on one another.The whole day became more productive and enjoyable and I moved through itwith greater ease. So I kept experimenting. When someone snagged the parkingspot I had my eye on at the grocery store, I dispelled my irritation with, ‘Thenext spot will be closer. Or maybe I’m supposed to walk the lactic acid out of mylegs.’ Whining about being too tired to cook dinner became ‘It’s a good night fortakeout.’ An achy calf turned into an appreciation for rest.Ironically, practising positivity showed me just how negative I could be.Sometimes snide and cynical thoughts streamed through my head and it tooktremendous effort to control those thoughts. My brain easily slipped back intonegativity, and I found I had to stay on top of my thinking in the same way I hadto remain conscious and diligent about my pace in a workout. ‘Oh, you’re doingit again,’ I said to myself when I became aware of negativity, being careful not torebuke myself and therefore wind up being negative about being negative. I toldmyself, ‘Find a thought that serves you better.’The more tired I got, the easier it was to be negative and the more relentlessI had to be. Often it seemed I could redirect my thinking hundreds of timesduring a workout. I was, though, becoming more skilled at recognising negativethoughts. I even started interrupting them midstream. Negativity: why can’t youstay on pace here? Me: I don’t need criticism right now, I need help! Then, I foundthe words to encourage myself: focus on the next mile. Keep going. Despite myefforts, I could still show up at practice thinking about fatigue.One morning in early February, a few weeks before I was scheduled to competein Houston at the US cross-country trials, the race that would determine the USteam for the World Championships, I set a goal to run a personal best in a mile-repeat workout. Conditions weren’t ideal. It was cold and a little windy. So forinspiration, I thought about two athlete heroes of mine: Olympian Pat Porter andNew Zealand miler Martin Johns. As I ran, I imagined my legs turning over inthe same long and powerful ways as these men. It worked for two of five repeats.Each time I shifted my attention away from something negative and put it onsomething positive, I felt my body loosen, my stride open and my confidence risebecause I actually liked the workout. I f lippedthe thought to ‘I’m a little closer to Phil today,’and again felt an immediate energy shift. Thenegative thought had been weighing down mystride with doubt and disappointment. Thepositive thought had created lightness, and theconfidence and desire to keep pushing.I’d had a sense of this interplay as a kid. Whenpeople said I was a ‘phenom’, I felt a buzz. Whensomeone referred to my win as a f luke or saidI’d burn out quickly, I felt slighted and sad. I’dexperienced the feelings connected to thesecomments when I was young. But only afterexperimenting with positive thoughts as aprofessional did I realise how the nature of mythinking influenced the quality of my running.Each time I shifted my attention away fromsomething negative and put it on somethingpositive, I felt my body loosen, my stride open upand my confidence rise.NEW THINKINGI began making connections beyond training.I noticed how an argument on the phone withmy mother was followed by a bad workout. A fastmile-repeat session came on the heels of excitingnews about a friend getting married. Perfectingmy cinnamon-roll recipe on Friday had merunning light on my feet on Saturday.During the third, my temples throbbed and my glutes ached. Let the pain signalthat you’re building endurance and speed. I waited for the positive interpretationto give me a boost and was surprised when it did not. So I switched myfocus to my arms. I watched them f ly in front of my face. I admired how quicklyand strongly they moved. With each stride, I was so preoccupied with myfast-moving biceps and fists that the headache and muscle fatigue no longerregistered and my strength f lowed through. I nailed the last two repeats inrecord time (5:05).``````THE THOUGHT THAT SERVES THE MOMENTThe workout offered an important lesson: positivity wasn’t a one-thought-fixes-all tool. I had to cycle through different approaches to find the right tool forthe moment. For example, my arms pulled me out of the physical effort of milerepeats, but that same focus didn’t work when I tried it during a long run. I was12 miles into a 15-mile workout and everything felt overextended – legs, armsand lungs – and my stomach was ready to lose the eggs and toast I’d eaten hoursearlier. I tried focusing on evening out my breathing, to no avail. Turning mymind to the rhythm of my feet, then to my fists, didn’t do the trick either.I started feeling anxious. I was fumbling through the tools I had and nonewere working. Training would always take me to a place of discomfort and I sawit was my job to push past it, so I focused on the rhythm of my feet, trying to openmyself to the effort. North River Road bent to the east and when I made the turn,the stunning granite face of Mount Blanca came into view, the defining peak ofthe Sangre de Cristo range. I absorbed that vision, taking in the dramatic way thestark, grey Colorado mountain pierced the blue sky. I sensed why that peak wassacred to the Navajo, for it also offered me great inspiration.Nature was what I needed in that moment. A distraction, something to pull meout of my body. I learned that some days it took scenery, music or musing aboutdinner to get through a workout. Other days, I needed to think myself through the``````The Transformation IssueTougher