MAKE IT LOOK EFFORTLESS 189
Filler words such as “ah,” “um,” and “you know” should not
disqualify someone from public office, nor should they limit
a person’s effectiveness as a business leader. All too often,
though, fillers will diminish your influence in the eyes of oth-
ers. In early 2009, Caroline Kennedy had expressed interest in
the New York Senate seat vacated by Hillary Rodham Clinton,
who became U.S. secretary of state. The media skewered
Kennedy’s performance because of her verbal tendency to
pack her remarks with, um, you know, like, fillers. Kennedy said
“you know” more than thirty times in a two-minute interview.
Listening for her filler words became sport among bloggers
and radio talk-show hosts. She soon withdrew her name from
consideration.
Here are three ways to eliminate fillers from your remarks
before they detract from your message: Ask for feedback. Most of your colleagues are afraid of
offending you. When someone asks me for advice and I see
some real areas for improvement, I will be tough. At the same
time, as is true of most other people, I hesitate to offer unso-
licited advice even when I’m dying to say something that can
improve someone’s presentation skills. Likewise, since most
of your family, friends, and peers avoid critiques for fear of
“insulting” you, they will not voluntarily tell you that your
mannerisms are annoying! Perhaps if Kennedy had asked for
honest feedback, someone may have said, “Caroline, before
you pitch yourself to the governor as the next New York
senator, we need to work on how you answer the inevitable
questions. Your answers must be specific, inspiring, and free
from the filler words you use in everyday conversation.” Tap the glass. I came across this technique entirely by chance,
and it worked out extremely well. I was helping a woman
rehearse a presentation and noticed that every other word was
“ah” or “um.” It became very distracting, so I told her I would
tap a water glass with a spoon every time she used a filler word.
My tapping became frequent—and irritating—promptingCaroline Kennedy’s, ah, um, You Know, Performance