Three Mistakes of My Life by Chetan Bhagat

(avery) #1

'We come here to work, not to perform rituals,' I said. I now paid full rent every
month to be in this shop. Nobody told me how to run my business.
Mama looked surprised. 'What is your name?'
'Govind.'
'Govind what?'
'Govind Patel.'
'Hindu, no?'
'1 am agnostic,' I said, irritated as I wanted to shut the shop and go home.
'Agno...?'
'He is not sure if there is God or not,' Ish explained.
'Doesn't believe in God? What kind of friends do you have Omi?' Mama was
aghast.
'No, that is an atheist,' I clarified. 'Agnostic means maybe God exists, maybe he
doesn't. I don't know.'
'You young kids,' Bittoo said, 'such a shame. I had come to invite you and look
at you.'
Omi looked at me. I turned my gaze away.
'Don't worry about Govind, Mama. He is confused.' I hate it when people take
my religious status for confusion. Why did I have to or not have to believe in
something?
Ish offered the Frooti to Bittoo Mama. It softened him a little.
'What about you?' Mama asked Ish.
'Hindu, Mama. I pray and everything.' Ish said. Yeah right only when six balls
were left in a match.
Mama took a large sip and shifted his gaze to Omi and Ish As far as he was
concerned I did not exist.
What did you want to invite us for Mama?' Omi said.
He lifted the red velvet cloth and unwrapped a three-foot-long brass trishul. Its
sharp blades glinted under the shop's tubelight.
'It's beautiful. Where did you get it from?' Omi queried.
'It is a gift from Parekh-ji. He said in me he sees the party's future. I worked
day and night. We visited every district in Gujarat. He said, "if we have more
people like Bittoo, people will be proud to be Hindu again." He made me the
recruitment in-charge for young people in Ahmedabad.'
Ish and I looked at Omi for footnotes.
'Parekh-ji is a senior Hindu party leader. And he heads the biggest temple trust
in Baroda,' Omi said. 'What, he knows the CM or something, Mama?'
'Parekh-ji not only knows the CM, but also talks to him twice a day,' Bittoo
Mama said. 'And I told Parekh-ji about you, Omi. I see in you the potential to
teach Hindu pride to young people.'
'But Mama, I'm working full time...'
'I am not telling you to leave everything. But get in touch with the greater
responsibilities we have. We are not just priests who speak memorised lines at
ceremonies. We have to make sure India's future generation understands
Hindutva properly. I want to invite you to a grand feast to Parekh-ji's house. You
should come too, Ish. Next Monday in Gandhinagar.'
Of course, blasphemous me got no invitation.
'Thanks, Mama. It sounds great, but I don't know if we can,' Ish said. How
come some people are so good at being polite.

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