mysterycanbeunderstoodwhenwerealizehowmenandwomenkeepscoredifferently.
Therearefivemajorreasonsamanstopsgiving.Theyare:
1 .MartiansIdealizeFairness.Amanfocusesallhisenergiesintoaprojectatworkandthinkshehas
justscoredfiftypoints.Thenhecomeshomeandsitsback,waitingforhiswifetoscoreherfiftypoints.He
doesnotknowthatinherexperiencehehasonlyscoredonepoint.Hestopsgivingbecausehethinkshe
hasalreadygivenmore.
Inhismindthisisthefairandlovingthingtodo.Heallowshertogivefiftypointsworthofsupporttoeven
thescore.Hedoesn'trealizethathishardworkattheofficescoresonlyonepoint.Hismodeloffairness
canworkonlywhenheunderstandsandrespectswomengiveonepointforeachgiftoflove.Thisfirst
insighthaspracticalapplicationsforbothmenandwomen.Theyare:
ForMen:Rememberthatforawoman,bigthingsand littlethingsscoreonepoint.Allgiftsofloveare
equalandequallyneeded--bigandsmall.Toavoidcreatingresentment,practicedoingsomeofthelittle
thingsthatmakeabigdifference.Donotexpectawomantobesatisfiedunlessshegetsanabundanceof
littleexpressionsofloveaswellasthebig.
ForWomen:Remember thatmen are fromMars; they arenotautomatically motivatedtodo thelittle
things.Theygivelessnotbecausetheydonotloveyoubutbecausetheybelievetheyhavealreadygiven
theirshare.Trynottotakeitpersonally.Instead,repeatedlyencouragetheirsupportbyaskingformore.
Don'twait,untilyoudesperatelyneedhissupportoruntilthescoreisgreatlyuneventoask.Don'tdemand
hissupport;trustthathewantstosupportyou,evenifheneedsalittleencouragement.
2 .VenusiansIdealizeUnconditionalLove.Awomangivesasmuchasshecanandonlynoticesthat
shehasreceivedlesswhensheisemptyandspent.Womendon'tstartoutkeepingscorelikemendo;
womengivefreelyandassumemenwilldothesame.
As wehaveseen,men arenotthesame. A mangivesfreelyuntilthe score, asheperceives it, gets
uneven,andthenhestopsgiving.Amangenerallygivesalotandthensitsbacktoreceivewhathehas
given.
Whenawomanishappygivingtoaman,heinstinctivelyassumessheiskeepingscoreandhemusthave
morepoints.Thelastthinghewouldconsideristhathehasgivenless.Fromhisvantagepointhewould
nevercontinuegivingwhenthescorebecameuneveninhisfavor.
Heknowsthatifheisrequiredtogivemorewhenhefeelshehasalreadygivenagreateramount,hewill
definitelynotsmilewhenhegives.Keepthisinmind.Whenawomancontinuestogivefreelywithasmile
onherface,amanassumesthescoremustbesomewhateven.HedoesnotrealizethatVenusianshave
theuncannyabilitytogivehappilyuntilthescoreisaboutthirtytozero.Theseinsightsalsohavepractical