Ihavewitnessedthousandsofcouplestransformtheirrelationships-someliterallyovernight.Theycomeon
Saturday ofmy weekendrelationshipseminarandby dinnertimeon Sunday they areinloveagain. By
applyingtheinsightsyouhavegainedthroughreadingthisbookandbyrememberingthatmenarefrom
MarsandwomenarefromVenusyouwillexperiencethesamesuccess.
ButIcautionyoutorememberthatloveisseasonal.Inspringitiseasy,butinsummeritishardwork.In
autumnyoumayfeelvery generousandfulfilled,butinwinteryouwillfeelempty.Theinformationyou
needtogetthroughsummerandworkonyourrelationshipiseasilyforgotten.Theloveyoufeelinfallis
easilylostinwinter.
Inthesummeroflove,whenthingsgetdifficultandyouarenotgettingtheloveyouneed,quitesuddenly
youmay forgeteverythingyouhavelearnedinthisbook.Inaninstantitisallgone.Youmaybeginto
blameyourpartnerandforgethowtonurturetheirneeds.
Whentheemptinessofwintersetsin,youmayfeelhopeless.Youmayblameyourselfandforgethowto
loveandnurtureyourself.Youmaydoubtyourselfandyourpartner.Youmaybecomecynicalandfeellike
givingup.Thisisallapartofthecycle.Itisalwaysdarkestbeforethedawn.
To be successful in our relationships we must accept and understand the differentseasons of love.
Sometimesloveflowseasilyandautomatically;atothertimesitrequireseffort.Sometimesourheartsare
fullandatothertimesweareempty. Wemustnotexpectourpartnerstoalwaysbelovingorevento
rememberhowtobe loving. Wemustalsogiveourselvesthisgiftofunderstandingand notexpectto
remembereverythingwehavelearnedaboutbeingloving.
Theprocessoflearningrequiresnotonlyhearingandapplyingbutalsoforgettingandthenremembering
again.Throughoutthisbookyouhavelearnedthingsthatyourparentscouldnotteachyou.Theydidnot
know.Butnowthatyouknow,pleaseberealistic.Giveyourselfpermissiontokeepmakingmistakes.Many
ofthenewinsightsyouhavegainedwillbeforgottenforatime.
Educationtheorystatesthattolearnsomethingnewweneedtohearittwohundredtimes.Wecannot
expectourselves(orourpartners)torememberallofthenewinsightsinthisbook.Wemustbepatient
andappreciativeoftheireverylittlestep.Ittakestimetoworkwiththeseideasandintegratetheminto
yourlife.
Notonlydoweneedtohearittwohundredtimesbutwealsoneedtounlearnwhatwehavelearnedin
the past. We are notinnocent children learning how to have successfulrelationships. We havebeen
programmedbyourparents,bytheculturewehavegrownupin,andbyourownpainfulpastexperiences.
Integratingthisnewwisdomofhavinglovingrelationshipsisanewchallenge.Youareapioneer.Youare
travelinginnewterritory.Expecttobelostsometimes.Expectyourpartnertohelost.Usethisguideasa
maptoleadyouthroughunchartedlandsagainandagain.