It Is OK to Make Mistakes
ThefirststepforamaninlearninghowtogivemoreistorealizethatitisOKtomakemistakesanditis
OKtofailandthathedoesn'thavetohavealltheanswers.
Irememberthestoryofawomanwhocomplainedthatherpartnerwouldnevermakeacommitmentto
marriage.Toheritseemedthathedidnotcareasmuchasshedid.Oneday,however,shehappenedto
saythatshewassohappybeingwithhim.Eveniftheywerepoor,shewouldwanttobewithhim.The
nextdayheproposed.Heneededtheacceptanceandencouragementthathewasgoodenoughforher,
andthenhecouldfeelhowmuchhecared.
MMMMaaaarrrrttttiiiiaaaannnnssssNNNNeeeeeeeeddddLLLLoooovvvveeeeTTTToooooooo
Justaswomenaresensitivetofeelingrejectedwhen they don'tgettheattentionthey need,menare
sensitivetofeelingthattheyhavefailedwhenawomantalksaboutproblems.Thisiswhyitissohardfor
himtolistensometimes.Hewantstobeherhero.Whensheisdisappointedorunhappyoveranything,be
feelslikeafailure.Herunhappinessconfirmshisdeepestfear:heisjustnotgoodenough.Manywomen
today don'trealizehowvulnerablemenareandhowmuchtheyneedlovetoo.Lovehelpshimtoknow
thatheisenoughtofulfillothers.
Ayoungboywhoisfortunateenoughtoseehisfathersucceedinfulfillinghismotherentersrelationships
asan adultwith a rare confidence that he can succeed in fulfilling his partner. He is notterrified of
commitmentbecausehe knows hecan deliver. Healso knowsthatwhen hedoesn'tdeliverheisstill
adequateandstilldeservesloveandappreciationfordoinghisbest.Hedoesnotcondemnhimselfbecause
heknowsheisnotperfectandthatheisalwaysdoinghisbestandhisbestisgoodenough.Heisableto
apologizeforhismistakesbecauseheexpectsforgiveness,love,andappreciationfordoinghisbest.
Heknowsthateveryonemakesmistakes.Hesawhisfathermakemistakesandcontinuetolovehimself.
Hewitnessed hismother lovingand forgivinghisfatherthroughallhismistakes. Hefelthertrustand
encouragement,eventhoughattimeshisfatherhaddisappointedher.
Many men did nothavesuccessfulrolemodelswhilethey weregrowingup. Forthemstaying in love,
gettingmarried,andhavingafamilyisasdifficultasflyingajumbojetwithoutanytraining.Hemaybe
abletotakeoff,butheissuretocrash.Itisdifficulttocontinueflyingonceyouhavecrashedtheplanea
fewtimes. Orifyouwitnessedyourfathercrash.Withoutagoodtrainingmanualforrelationships,itis
easytounderstandwhymanymenandwomengiveuponrelationships.