"Iwanttoforgeteverything." "Ifyoudon'tlikeyourjob,thenquit."
"Thehouseisalwaysamess." "It'snotalwaysamess."
"Noonelistenstomeanymore." "ButIamlisteningtoyourightnow."
"Nothingisworking." "Areyousayingitismyfault?"
"Youdon'tlovemeanymore." "OfcourseIdo.That'swhyI'mhere."
"Wearealwaysinahurry." "Wearenot.Fridaywewererelaxed."
"Iwantmoreromance." "AreyousayingIamnotromantic?"
Youcanseehowa"literal"translationofawoman'swordscouldeasilymisleadamanwhoisusedtousing
speechasameansofconveyingonlyfactsandinformation.Wecanalsoseehowaman'sresponsesmight
leadtoanargument. Unclear andunlovingcommunication isthebiggestprobleminrelationships. The
number one complaint women have in relationships is: "I don't feel heard." Even this complaint is
misunderstoodandmisinterpreted!
Aman'sliteraltranslationof"Idon'tfeelheard"leadshimtoinvalidateandarguewithherfeelings.He
thinkshehasheardherifhecanrepeatwhatshehassaid.Atranslationofawomansaying"Idon'tfeel
heard"sothatamancouldcorrectlyinterpretitis:Ifeelasthoughyoudon'tfullyunderstandwhatIreally
meantosayorcareabouthowIfeel.WouldyoushowmethatyouareinterestedinwhatIhavetosay?"
Ifamanreallyunderstoodhercomplaintthenhewouldarguelessandbeabletorespondmorepositively.
Whenmenandwomenareonthevergeofarguing,theyaregenerallymisunderstandingeachother.At
suchtimes,itisimportanttorethinkortranslatewhattheyhaveheard.
Becausemanymendon'tunderstandthatwomenexpressfeelingsdifferently,theyinappropriatelyjudgeor
invalidatetheirpartner'sfeelings.Thisleadstoarguments. TheancientMartianslearnedtoavoidmany
argumentsthroughcorrectunderstanding.Wheneverlisteningstirredupsomeresistance,theyconsulted
theirVenusian/MartianPhraseDictionaryforacorrectinterpretation.
WHENVENUSIANSTALK...............................................................................................................
The followingsection containsvarious excerpts fromthe lostVenusian/Martian Phrase Dictionary.
Eachofthetencomplaintslistedaboveistranslatedsothatamancanunderstandtheirrealandintended
meaning.Eachtranslationalsocontainsahintofhowshewantshimtorespond.
Yousee,whenaVenusianisupsetshenotonlyusesgeneralities,andsoforth, butalsoisaskingfora
particularkindofsupport.Shedoesn'tdirectlyaskforthatsupportbecauseonVenuseveryoneknewthat
ddddrrrraaaammmmaaaattttiiiiccccllllaaaannnngggguuuuaaaaggggeeeeiiiimmmmpppplllliiiieeeeddddaaaappppaaaarrrrttttiiiiccccuuuullllaaaarrrrrrrreeeeqqqquuuueeeesssstttt....