WHENMARTIANSDOTALK...........................................................................................................
Womengetburnednotonlywhentheyunknowinglyinvadeaman'sintrospectivetimebutalsowhenthey
misinterprethisexpressions,whicharegenerallywarningsthatheiseitherinhiscaveoronhiswaytothe
cave.Whenasked"What'sthematter?"aMartianwillsaysomethingbrieflike"It'snothing"or"IamOK."
ThesebriefsignalsaregenerallytheonlywayaVenusianknowstogivehimspacetoworkouthisfeelings
alone.Insteadofsaying"IamupsetandIneedsometimetobealone,"menjustbecomequiet.
Inthefollowingchartsix commonly expressedabbreviatedwarningsignalsarefistedaswellashowa
womanmightunknowinglyrespondinanintrusiveandunsupportivemanner:
SIXCOMMONABBREVIATEDWARNINGSIGNALS
Whenawomanasks"What'sthematter?"---
AMansays Awomanmayrespond
"I'mOK"or"It'sOK.' "Iknowsomething'swrong.Whatisit?"
"I'mfine"or"It'sfine." "Butyouseemupset.Let'stalk."
"It'snothing." "Iwanttohelp.Iknowsomethingisbotheringyou.Whatisit?"
"It'sallright"or"I'mallright.""Areyousure?Iamhappytohelpyou."
"It'snobigdeal." "Butsomethingisupsettingyou.Ithinkweshouldtalk."
"It'snoproblem." "Butitisaproblem.Icouldhelp."
Whenamanmakesoneoftheaboveabbreviatedcommentshegenerallywantssilentacceptanceorspace.
At times like this, to avoid misinterpretation and unnecessary panic, the Venusians consulted their
Martian/VenusianPhraseDictionary.Withoutthisassistance,womenmisinterprettheseabbreviated
expressions.
Womenneedtoknow thatwhenamansays"I am OK" itis an abbreviated version ofwhathereally
means,whichis"IamOKbecauseIcandealwiththisalone.Idonotneedanyhelp.Pleasesupportmeby
notworryingaboutme.TrustthatIcandealwithitallbymyself."
Withoutthistranslation, whenheis upsetandsays"I amOK" itsoundstoherasifheisdenyinghis
feelingsorproblems.Shethenattemptstohelphimbyaskingquestionsortalkingaboutwhatshethinks
theproblemis.Shedoesnotknowthatheisspeakinganabbreviatedlanguage.Thefollowingareexcerpts
fromtheirphrasedictionary.
TheMartian/VenusianPhraseDictionary