youcan handleit"or "That'stheirproblem,notyours" or"I'msureitwillworkout." Mensupportone
anotherbynotworryingorminimizingtheirtroubles.
IIIIttttttttooooooookkkkmmmmeeeeyyyyeeeeaaaarrrrssssttttoooouuuunnnnddddeeeerrrrssssttttaaaannnnddddtttthhhhaaaattttmmmmyyyywwwwiiiiffffeeeeaaaaccccttttuuuuaaaallllllllyyyywwwwaaaannnntttteeeeddddmmmmeeeettttoooowwwwoooorrrrrrrryyyyffffoooorrrrhhhheeeerrrrwwwwhhhheeeennnnsssshhhheeee
wwwwaaaassssuuuuppppsssseeeetttt.... Without this awareness of our different needs, I would minimize the importance of her
concerns.Thisonlymadehermoreupset.
Whenamangoesintohiscaveheisgenerallytryingtosolveaproblem.Ifhismateishappyornotneedy
atthistime,thenhehasonelessproblemtosolvebeforecomingout.Knowingthatsheishappywithhim
alsogiveshimmorestrengthtodealwithhisproblemwhileinthecave.
Anythingthatdistractsherorhelpshertofeelgoodwillbehelpfultohim.Thesearesomeexamples:
Readabook
Callagirlfriendforagoodchat
Listentomusic
Workinthegarden
Writeinajournal
Exercise
Goshopping
Getamassage
Prayormeditate
Listentoself_improvementtapes
Goforawalk
Takeabubblebath
Treatyourselftosomethingdelicious
Seeatherapist
WatchTVoravideo
TheMartiansalsorecommendedthattheVenusiansdosomethingenjoyable.Itwashardtoconceiveof
beinghappywhenafriendwashurting,buttheVenusiansdidfindaway.EverytimetheirfavoriteMartian
wentintohiscave,they wouldgoshoppingoroutonsomeotherpleasingexcursion.Venusiansloveto
shop.Mywife,Bonnie,sometimesusesthistechnique.WhensheseesIaminmycave,shegoesshopping.
IneverfeellikeIhavetoapologizeformy Martianside. WhenshecantakecareofherselfIfeelOK