HOWMONEYCANCREATEPROBLEMS...........................................................................................
Chrissaid,"Iamcompletelyconfused.Whenwegotmarriedwewerepoor.Webothworkedhardandwe
barelyhadenoughmoneyfortherent.Sometimesmywife,Pam,wouldcomplainabouthowhardherlife
was.Icouldunderstandit.Butnowwearerich.Webothhavesuccessfulcareers.Howcanshestillbe
unhappy andcomplain?Otherwomenwouldgiveanythingtobeinhersituation.Allwedoisfight.We
werehappierwhenwewerepoor;nowwewantadivorce."
Chrisdidnotunderstandthatwomenarelikewaves.WhenhemarriedPam,fromtimetotimeherwave
wouldcrash. Atthosetimes hewouldlistenand understandherunhappiness. Itwas easy for him to
validatehernegativefeelingsbecausehesharedthem.Fromhisperspectiveshehadagoodreasontobe
upset-_theydidn'thavealotofmoney.
Money Doesn't Fulfill Emotional Needs
Martianstendtothinkmoneyisthesolutiontoallproblems.WhenChrisandPamwerepoorandstruggling
tomakeendsmeet,hewouldlistenandempathizewithherpainandresolvetomakemoremoneysoshe
wouldn'tbeunhappy.Pamfeltthathereallycared.
Butastheirlifeimprovedfinanciallyshecontinuedtogetupsetfromtimetotime.Hecouldn'tunderstand
whyshestillwasn'thappy.Hethoughtsheshouldbehappyallthetimebecausetheyweresorich.Pam
feltthathedidn'tcareabouther.
ChrisdidnotrealizethatmoneycouldnotpreventPamfrombeingupset. Whenherwavewouldcrash,
theyfoughtbecausehewouldinvalidateherneedtobeupset.Ironically,therichertheybecamethemore
theyfought.
Whentheywerepoor,moneywasthemajorfocusofherpain,butastheybecamemorefinanciallysecure
shebecamemoreawareofwhatshewasnotgettingemotionally.Thisprogressionisnatural,normal,and
predictable.
A Wealthy Woman Needs More Permission to Be Upset
Iremember readingthisquote inanarticle:"Awealthy womancan only getempathyfromawealthy
psychiatrist."Whenawomanhasalotofmoney,people(andespeciallyherhusband)donotgiveherthe
rightto beupset. Shehas nopermission tobe like awaveandcrash from timetotime. Shehas no
permissiontoexploreherfeelingsortoneedmoreinanyareaofherlife.
Awomanwithmoney isexpectedtobefulfilledallthetimebecauseherlifecouldbesomuchworse
withoutthisfinancialabundance.Thisexpectationisnotonlyimpracticalbutdisrespectful.Regardlessof