102 PowerPhrases in Action
describe emotions that do not provide much information.
Often people say they are angry, when if they looked more
deeply they would realize that they felt much more than sim-
ple anger. Don’t say you’re mad when you are offended, baf-
fled, and irate. Be more specific. It strengthens your message.
I was feeling frustrated with my assistants, but wanted to be
certain I was being specific in my words. I looked more care-
fully and realized what I was really feeling was something dif-
ferent. I said,
I feel out of touch with both of you.By describing what I really felt, it was easier to know what to
do about it! It often makes it easier to hear, which was certainly
true in this case.
PowerPhrases to Say What You Feel Are
Targeted
You feel so many things. Which feelings do you believe will get
the result you want with the listener? If someone stands you up
for an appointment, and you are angry, frustrated, offended,
and surprised, which feeling do you believe they will respond
to best? Remember—a PowerPhrase is as strong as it needs to
be and not stronger. Ask yourself which emotions most closely
match the situation and will work for the results you seek.
There are situations where you might choose to omit your
feelings; however, in far more situations they will improve your
results.
For example, imagine I interrupt you while you are working
and my interruptions frustrate you. If your message to me is