120 PowerPhrases in Action
say,
Thanks for asking, but it’s not something that interests
me.If you want to stay on their list, choose words that will encour-
age them to ask again. Say,
I wish I could, but if you try again another time I might
be able to. Keep asking, will you?If you want to increase rapport while drawing a boundary,
choose words that reinforce the relationship. Know what mat-
ters most and target words that will accomplish that.
PowerPhrases to Say “No”; Say What
You Mean
When John asked Chandra to do some lettering for him, she
replied,
Someone else would be better suited to do the lettering. I’m
not good at it. I don’t think you want me to do this.Is that what Chandra really meant? John wasn’t sure. John
believed Chandra was well-suited to help, so he started to
explain why he wanted her to do it. He was building her up.
He was telling her how talented she was. He was supporting her.
The problem was that Chandra wasn’t saying what she
meant. So John’s conversation was way off track. Chandra knew
she was good. She just didn’t want to do it.